Have you ever noticed, how much of your day to day frustration and disappointment is the direct result of what's going on between your ears?
When something doesn't go the way we want it to, when we experience a setback, when someone doesn't respond to us the way we thought they would. How much pain does stinking thinking about that cause us?
Our thoughts about things can make us feel upset, sad, worthless, isolated, resentful and like the world is against us. These thoughts unleash a cascade of chemicals throughout our body, and can lead to physical symptoms such as muscle tension, headaches, stomach upset, dizziness, nausea, and more complex and chronic health issues. The thoughts that we think over and over become neurological super highways in our brains, so it gets easier to think them, and the chemicals produced by negative thinking can actually become addictive. Our nervous systems get used to running on adrenaline and come to like the rush of those chemicals throughout our body. But is the cost of negative thinking really worth it?
There is an intersection not far from me that I call 'the scorpion' because it has a red light camera and a speed camera, and it stings if you get caught!! I approach that intersection below the speed limit each and every time, and try to make sure I stop before the light changes to amber. I was approaching this intersection recently at just below 60km, and got to the line as the light changed! I was travelling too fast to safely stop so went through and just made it out the other side before the light turned red. Despite this I was CONVINCED I was going to get a red light camera infringement notice in the mail! I stressed about how I would afford to pay it. I lamented about how much it sucked. I whinged about it to a few people, and on it went. Thinking that way caused me to feel upset and distressed.
A few days later I went through the intersection again and realised the camera only captures from the inbound lane and I was headed outbound so there was no way I would be getting a ticket! All that stress and worry for nothing!
Do you do this too?
Do the thoughts you think and the stories that you tell yourself serve you? Is the mental chatter making you feel better or worse? Could there be another possibility to the situation than what you're thinking? Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, could there be a positive to this? Can you entertain some gentler, alternative scenarios? If the worst case scenario does happen, how might you actually cope with that? Can you make some little mindset shifts to start feeling better and reverse the biochemical process that drama and negativity bring?
I know life is not all rainbows and unicorns, far from it, and I am not talking about magical thinking here. I don't think it works! I also know that things can look a whole lot better when we entertain more positive possibilities, and focus on our strengths and resilience. Our inner critic loves to run the show, to keep us safe, and prepare us for the worst. Our inner coach however tells us, 'you've got this', it tells us that we will cope, and how we might be able to do that. It points out the positives, encourages us, and helps us to feel stronger and brighter. I invite you to give your inner coach some air time. You might be surprised at how much better it can help you feel.
Emma xx
ⓒEmma Jane @ Nurture For You 2022 - no portion of this post may be lifted, copied, quoted or reproduced without written permission from the author. I can be contacted at info@nurtureforyou.com to request such permission.
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